Shunning the shame

Shame and fear are two of the biggest roadblocks to getting what we want. A lot of fear comes from shame, and shame comes from fear. They are so enmeshed, it’s a perfect little co-dependent bundle of junk you don’t need in your life. Anything you keep in the dark is something you’re ashamed of. That’s why you hide it. The kicker about shame – it’s something you feel only when you allow someone else to make you feel that way. Now, I want to be of service to you, and I want to inspire you, and I want you to do you better than you’ve ever done you before. So I want to invite you to shine a little light on any shame you’re feeling so you can shun it out of your life once and for all. When you accomplish that, you’ll be free to be you in any way you want.

I’m willing to bet most people don’t even realize shame is a feeling they’re experiencing. We use virtuous, cutesie names to help shame stay in the dark, where it is most powerful and can grow best. We call it modest or coy. Anything you’re unwilling to share for fear of what the other person will think of you is shame. And we have to stop letting it control us.

How many of us have been told at least once that we should be ashamed of ourselves? How can anyone else tell us how we should feel? And why are we letting someone else should on us like that? Let me be upfront and say that I have a real problem with anyone telling another person what is right for them. There is absolutely no way anybody has that kind of insight – I don’t care who they are. And if you watch the people who, if anyone should know, they would, you’ll see that they wouldn’t even dream of telling another person what they should or shouldn’t be doing. Because they understand that a) it’s none of their business, and b) they have no way of knowing what the future holds for you.

My dogs remind me how unnecessary shame is every day. Anytime I am in the kitchen, or have food, they beg. Shamelessly beg. They aren’t worried about what I’m going to think of them because they are asking for a bite, even though their little piggy butts just ate their own breakfast or dinner. Furthermore, when I call them little piggy butts and remind them that they just ate, they don’t care one bit. They want a bite of what I’ve got and there isn’t any amount of shaming on my part that will change their minds. They won’t let my opinion of them get in the way of asking for what they want.

We can learn a lot from my dogs. (Often enough, they wind up manifesting their desire, because I’m a big pushover for someone who knows what they want and goes after it with wild abandon.) We can completely disregard someone’s judgement when we ask for what we want. We can focus on the answer, and if we don’t get the yes, we can press until we do. We can go after whatever it is we want, and never stop asking until we get it. We don’t have to listen when the world tells us we can’t. It most cases, it’s a choice.

So I challenge you to make it your mission to pick something you want and beg like my dogs until you get it. It doesn’t have to be a big thing. I’m willing to bet you have a few wishes tucked away that you’re either ashamed to ask for, or let a no answer stop you in your tracks. Dust it off and take it for a spin. Keep circling until you get your yes. And then come back here and tell me all about it!

With much love, light, and gratitude,
Jen

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